It has been 19 days since I miscarried (at least that’s what my doctor tells me. But I should go back to the beginning when everything was amazing.
I will also tell you dear readers that this will not be the only thing I talk about on this blog. I’ll talk about my Mister, our cats, my new business, life in general. This topic just happens to be at the forefront at the moment.
Picture it if you will December 22, 2011, my husband and I were on our way home from somewhere and stopped off at the market to pick up some things we were low on. It was then that I also gave in and bought a pregnancy test. By this point I figured maybe “mt friend” wasn’t late due to the stress of moving, maybe, just maybe it was something else. Something amazing. So I added a three pack to the basket and waited for my husband to make fun of me. He didn’t, he was surprised when we go home that I didn’t run and take the test right away.
But I waited until first thing the next morning. After only a few seconds that little test lit up like the 4th of July! I was thrilled. I also checked the test close to 8 times before I went to break the news to my husband. He was shocked and obviously a little scared. Hey I was scared too…after all this little life was my sole responsibility for the next nine months. It was time to make a huge change in a lot of things: diet, working out, etc. I did just that, that very day.
We also promised one another we wouldn’t tell anyone until month four. Just in case anything did go wrong. How were we to know it would? But we made it through Christmas without telling anyone. We were pretty proud of ourselves for that. That would all change the following Wednesday when I suspected something was not right. But when I called to voice my concerns to the doctors office they told me things like back pain, slight twinges, and even discharge was normal. I’ll spare you the details of January 1st (the day I think I actually miscarried). I would not find out until January 9th that my pregnancy hormone levels were pretty much gone.
Now I faced visiting my ob/gyn that Friday. Which lead me to having to take provera to start my cycle again (it hasn’t started a week later) and scheduling one of those unpleasant ultrasounds where you need to drink and impossible amount of water and hold it until the appointment is over. SO not looking forward to that one…let me tell you.
So look for happy posts to come and possibly some sad posts as I come to terms with this loss. But look to the future and the hopes of 9 months of no trouble and a beautiful baby to show for it at the end.
Thanks for reading…