Say Goodbye…

…and move on.

Today I had yet another visit at the ob/gyn’s office. I feel like they should just hire me to work there at this point. Today’s visit started with me chugging 32oz+ of water. Yup I had a fun filled ultrasound scheduled this morning to make sure there wasn’t anything “left” behind. There wasn’t. But the “fun” didn’t stop there. No I was waiting back in the waiting room for the after consult, when the parade of pregnant women started.

Now I know there are bound to be  pregnant women coming in. After all that’s also what they do there. But today it hurt to see them, those far along and those newly finding out. All I could think was THAT SHOULD BE ME!! Anyway to top it off as I was brought back in with my husband to meet with the doctor we passed an exam room with the door cracked open enough to hear the soft lub-dub of an expectant mother listening to her babies heartbeat and THAT is when I lost my sh*t.

I couldn’t help it and I tried. Thankfully the nurse was nice enough to close that door and magically make tissues appear in my hand. Ten points to her. My husband also comforted me as we ran through the getting my vital and the like. It was only then that the nurse said she was sorry for my husband’s loss too. I wonder how often the fathers are forgotten in times like this? It isn’t fair to them either and they should get some notice…as they too are no doubt hurting in their own way.

We finally met with my doctor and talked over everything. The ultrasound didn’t show anything so there was no cause for concern for further procedures. At this time he also doesn’t think there is any need to dig deeper. If there is a second, then we’ll worry. I sure as hell hope this was my only one. So now we try, try again and start to worry if there isn’t a bun in the oven by July. I almost wish he hadn’t put a time limit on it. I now feel a little like there is now a race against the clock to become pregnant again.

BUT I am going to do what I can to NOT do that. Which means I probably should have opened the tea shop today. Instead I opted to stay home after my appointment. I just couldn’t bring myself to sit there by myself waiting for people to come in. Plus our kitties are here and they are helping me feel better. Each has come into my office to see what I’m up to, Allie even took a little snooze on her bean bag in here. I love them.

I also promised myself if I stayed home I would vacuum the house (done), throw some laundry in the washer/dryer (done), and work on a blog post for my tea review site. Plus update some information on my shops web page. I still have to do those last two. If I do well then I get a nap. So away I go.

Thanks for reading…

One last little thing. If you haven’t guessed yet the titles for each blog are song titles. Usually something that fits the day or the mood. Today’s is from Dave Matthews Band. Yesterdays were from Journey and Linda Eder.

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